Stubasa: Casserole Chronicle
by G.A.Grimgrim
Summary: In the land of Clowsserole, a beautiful young Princess named Brothura and her devoted childhood friend Syaotato fall in love. Can they defeat the evil chef Fei Wang Leek and restore Brothura's croutons?


Are Japanese phoenetics getting you down? Is it a cold day and you're out for some munchies? Wondering just what the holy potato is going on in Tsubasa? Well have I got the story for you!

***

Stubasa: Casserole Chronicle

***

ONCE UPON A STEWPOT on a stovetop far away, a beautiful broth girl named Brothura and her loyal companion Syaotato fell in love in the Kingdom of Clowsserole.

Clowsserole was a dish famous for its many bawdy flavours and exotic taste. It existed in peace until one chilly winter's day, the evil chef Fei Wang Leek began to covert the power and warmth of Clowsserole for himself. He launched an assault on the heart of the dish, deploying his loyal onions to destroy the full, meaty flavour that existed there.

Having been simmering around the stew's heart at the time, it was Brothura and Syaotato who found themselves in the direst of circumstances. Brothura's croutons were wrenched from her bodily brew, while Syaotato suffered minor bruising that would later compromise his texture.

Heedless of his injuries, Syaotato appealed to the King of Clowsserole himself, the Stewpot. King Stewpot (who was incidentally enough also Brothura's brother, and who had always particularly despised that a foreign ingredient such as Syaotato making advances on his sister) turned to his loyal advisor Spatukito and demanded,

"What is the meaning of this? Chef Leek will be very displeased – why that cold-gibletted Fei Wang Leek has spoiled his stew!"

"Not to mention he's had his hands all over your sister," said Spatukito.

You, as the discerning reader, may have detected a subtle similarity in the surnames of Chef Leek and Fei Wang Leek. I, as the humble author of this casserole, would be much obliged if you would kindly pretend you hadn't noticed.

"That's it! Spatukito, as my loyal priest and stirrer, I demand you save Brothura!" King Stewpot rattled.

"Please, your shiniest of majesties, allow me to accompany Brothura," Syaotato pleaded, "I swear I'll return her flavour to her!"

And so King Stewpot watched while Priest Spatukito flung Brothura and Syaotato out of the pan, over the stovetop, and into a different kitchen entirely.

"God speed, little 'tato." Spatukito whispered, watching their flight.

When Syaotato next opened his cruskets, he found himself in a soup unknown. Thin stock sleeted from the sky, drenching the kitchen-hopping ingredients. A curvaceous soup ladle dressed in black stood before them.

"I take it you are Sakura and Syaoran from the land of Clow," the ladle said to them.

Syaotata scratched his tuber. "No, sorry. You've got the wrong hot-pot, ladle."

The ladle looked at her single wooden leg, and touched her round wooden head with spindly splinter arms. "Ah, right you are. Ahem." And then she spake thusly in a deep and bellowing timbre, "Syaotato, I have ill news for you: Brothura's croutons have been strewn throughout space and time. To save her, you must travel to stovetops in every kitchen and retrieve these croutons."

"Aw yeah?" said Syaotato, who was smarting from a mild concussion sustained when flung at three thousand miles and hour into a hot metal stove, "And what if I don't wanna?"

"Then Brothura will die," the ladle, a.k.a. Super Space-Time Sonic Ladle Yûdle, told him. She added in a haughty tone, "And you will look like an uncaring son of a marrow bone in front of all of your fan critics. You may not even make the recipe book."

Syaotato gasped, "Then I'll do it! I'll do anything to save Brothura!"

"Will you face terrible cooking from guest celebrity chefs and exotic, hostile ingredients in kitchens unknown?" Yûdle demanded,

"Yes!"

"Do you pledge your allegiance to Chef Leek, and promise you will do everything in your power to stop Fei Wang Leek's dastardly plot to learn Chef Leek's secret recipe?"

"Yes! I suppose so."

"Do you swear never to go berserk, gouge out the eye of your beloved travelling ingredient, eat it and proceed to hope from stewpot to stewpot, ruining casseroles everywhere in the name of Brothura?"

"Holy spuds, ladle, that was a bit specific." Syaotato said. He jostled Brothura, who was watery and of ill-temperature, her brothy visage pale and poorly textured.

Syaotato felt his starchy heart skip a beat. He really would do anything to save Brothura, even if it meant gouging out and eating other people's eyes.

Wait. Did he have that last bit right?

It was too late to ask. Yûdle smiled, "Speaking of your travelling ingredients, here they are. Watercress," she called to a weedy vegetable standing idly behind her, "Fetch Mokona."

If this was the _soupHolic_ version of _Casserole Chronicle_, Watercress would have spoken briefly to Yûdle about this unfair extension to his services, but listen here you, this is _Stubasa_, and Watercress ain't sayin' NUFFIN.

The soupy sky bulged and two new ingredients popped into existence. One was an angry rice ball with a flower-cut slice of carrot pressed into his centre, donning a skewer and warrior's garb. The second was an attractive snow cone with two blue berries for eyes. He wielded a bejewelled plastic spoon and smiled like a snow man at everyone.

Yûdle gestured to the rice ball, "Meet Karotogane," she turned and indicated the snow cone, "And Faice Cone."

Faice waved and Karotogane nearly burst an artery (a rice artery, that is...gross).

"What's this!" Karotogane bellowed, "Where's Iron Chef Japan?!"

"I'd like to get out of this drizzle before I'm flavoured like chicken soup," Faice said with a smile, his blue berries sparkling.

Syaotato suddenly had an impression of whose eyes he would be gouging out and eating later.

Yûdle bustled around, taking Karotogane's skewer, Faice Cone's hidden syrup, then prised a hidden crouton from Brothura's broth.

"These are the items most important to you," she said, while Faice struggled to restrain the flailing rice ball, "They'll be required if you're to travel through kitchen time-space."

"Suits me," said Faice, "I'm trying to avoid any kitchens with temperatures over four degrees Celsius."

"That's all of them!" Karotogane snapped.

"Hey now, Karot-top, there's no need to shout," Faice grinned, "You're here for a reason, too."

"I am not!"

Watercress returned holding a dumpling. A white pork dumpling, with ears, and a red pickled plum on its head.

"Hayao," the dumpling called, "This casserole just got tasty – Mokona's in the pot!"

Syaotato, Faice and Karotogane baulked. Brothura even opened her broth for a moment to look shocked.

"H-hey!" Karotogane stammered, "How come you're not a stewpot ingredient? You look the same as always!"

"Well, you always call me 'white pork bun'," Mokona pouted, springing over to join them, "What does it matter if I'm not a stinky old rice ball like you?"

"So this means you ARE a white pork bun?" Karotogane howled.

Yûdle waved her hand, and the ingredients – including Mokona – went flying off into space. Watercress approached her as the ingredients disappeared from sight.

"Yûdle, shouldn't you have told them about Brothura never being able to remember Syaotato, no matter how many croutons they retrieve?"

The Super Ladle grinned at him, smiling wryly. She headed back towards her house, which was a traditional Japanese leg of mutton.

"Oh come now, Watercress. You know that's just a gimmick."

The End!

***

A/N: I know I said the end ... but I guess if people like it I could write more. Who wants to see Syaotato locked in mortal combat with the dastardly dumpling king of Liver Stew world and his brutish giant kidney son? Mmm...dumplings...


End file.
